Saturday, December 22, 2012

Answers I Have

"You have the answer. Just get quiet enough to hear it." ~ Pat Obuchowski

I've been sad for awhile now. I'm not exactly sure why - probably a number of reasons.

My inner voice being quite mean to me... why do we say things to ourselves that we would never, ever in a million years say to anyone else? Even people we detest?

High expectations.

Gaining 30 lbs back.

Not working out.

Not following through.

Not being able to clear my space. - Directly related to trying to do too much and keeping things around for 'some day.' Which is directly related to not being focused on the passion... or the priorities.

Saying my priority but not really meaning it. Because I believe in the power of positive thinking... but then the other little snarky voice comes in and undermines it.

For Example: I say my priority is health - eating whole foods, limiting sugar, getting rid of wheat and then fitness (working out) for strength and cardio and for all the amazing benefits physical movement gives us.

Then I stay up too late to get up in the morning early to exercise.
I've been trying for so many years to LIKE waking up at the crack of ass (as my pal MAK says)... to enjoy the stillness, the darkness (in winter), the time to get the chores out of the way so there's more fun to do in the daylight (in the "real hours")... and yet, I stay up too late watching mindless crap on tv because (I tell myself) that is the one thing himself and I do together. It is the time we spend together.

Obviously that needs to change. We need to find something besides watching tv to do together. On a regular basis.

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